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♠ Emo dc laggy queen
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♥ to have green eyes towards others
♥ uses slang a lot
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♥ like to build castle in the air

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► to be scapegoat
► Cripple, Hypocrite
► traitor, egoist, Liar
► a snake in the grass
► KPKB kia, cb KIa



i want
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♥[x] second semester to come
♥[x] first doo dolls
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♥[ ] my third Elmo♥
♥[ ] my very first nice Barney♥
♥[ ] my very first nice Cookie Monster♥
♥[ ] be more independent n mature :)
♥[ ] kill all the CBK CBCBCBCB FKERS!!! ♥[ ] get my surgery done ASAP
♥[ ] reach 300th and more posts

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PhotobucketSunday, January 7, 2007Photobucket

❤oh dad~❤ ► 1/07/2007 09:15:00 PM

dear diary..

i miss my late dad..
I no longer remember the sweet times together with my dad
He didn’t appear in my dream before
I want to know more bout my dad’s past but I don’t dare to ask my mom,
I don’t want her to recall back sad memories..
few years back she told a little bit bout my dad, about his funeral, my relatives, my grandpa.. I dont think is suitable for me to say here. Ask me if u want to know.
When I looked back all my childhood photos I realised that
I didn’t have much photo with my dad.
I envy small kid who happily playing and having meals with their parents..
Thinking that why didn’t I have gotten a chance to do so
but in the end I coax myself by thinking what god had decided for me is the best..
Although im not happy with my life at all..
I have a portrait of my dad but photo couldn’t tell how tall and his skin color was before..
Sometimes when im down, I will sit on the floor and stare at the portrait of my dad..
And talk to him as if he could hear..
The other day when my bro was sleeping he could felt something heavy was sitting on him, I knew it was my dad..i knew he came back..
SOMEONE (the medium) told us that my dad is unhappy with my bro and I for not praying to the ancestors.. O.O..
but how come he did not give me any sign? (call me superstitious or superstition if u wan to)
Sometimes when he comes back in the midnight (yup he does) my dogs would quickly hide under the chair and stare at the airs then I’ll knw he is back.. i do have the habit of sleeping late and when he comes back I didn’t choose to hide and I always hope he would appear in front of me..but in the end nope..
Dad I really miss you can you appear in my dream tonight?? I wanna hold you tight

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love me back,
and i'll love you better ♥
written at 1/07/2007 09:15:00 PM COMMENTS