i cant take it anymore.
i reli can break down anytime.





i am trying to be more mature,
as this is my 2008 resolution =.=

i am trying to be more mature by not complaining much
(achieving, result = good)
i am trying to be more mature by not burdening ppl by telling them
my problems, anymore
(achieving result = PERFECTO)
i am trying to be more mature by start being cold to ppl
(achieving, result = good)
i am trying to be more mature by not starting fight
(achievingnow, result = moderate)
i am trying to be more mature by controlling my anger
(achieving now, result = LOW, not to POOR yet)
i am trying to be more mature by not being the real me =.=
(achieving now, result = good)

but i am reli suffering and san fu,
keeping all problems are just gonna make me worse.
i hope ppl notice by now that
i am anti social already
i am gettin more emo already
i am keeping everything to myself already
i am trying to stop complaining much
like seriously, got ppl notice anot O.O


every now and then,
i am trying to smile,
fake smile, but
i am so tired to carry smile now,
smile smile =) means nth to me
fake smile care so much for wat
u wan see i smile for u lor.
=D happy? =.=


i wish no one knws how i reli feel
what the hell i reli wan now?
i dunno ._.lll
i reli wana be hermit,
and stay in an unknown island,
on my own,
yes lonely it is,
but to think back,
is this what i reli wan?


i duno why,
i cant seem to be open to ppl anymore.
i just dunno how to talk to ppl now.
when i open my heart to some ppl,
they just break the trust, and make u heart broken nia.
._.lll
there is no true friend in life.
even if there is, one day that true friend will betray you one.

true friend is someone who will not
literaly, utterly, physically , mentally, indirectly, directly..
betray you =)
eh pls, got someone so perfect in this world anot.

i am happy now with the friends i have now,
less but fine, less conflict,
i don want to name them out, as i know they r pretty sure i am talking about them =)


i am trying my best not to tell ppl my problems.
i am trying my very best not to burden ppl,
but problems keep coming like as if it is a routine in life,
i knw la is a part of growing up,
i am trying my best to accept it also,
i think now i am better than before.
at least i dont complain much now :D
no wonder my tummy so big,
cos keep so many things inside, within me, to myself only =P

whenever i see knife now,
i feel so bad ._.
whenever i see door now,
i feel so bad ._.

i hvnt told anyone yet about wat big drama happen few weeks back,
nvm la, better dont tel, is jst so damn dramatic.
at least now i get some peace, but not for long =.=
knife, slam door, scolding, rubbish, parasit of the world


ppl say, if they were given a chance to turn back,
they would wan to, but they cherish more of the moment now,
of what they have, what they had, and what they are doing now.
me? i rather be changing everything,
i got so fed up until maximum, until i got the extend of,
i rather be going back, going on new life.
you ask what about my current friends now?
can i say i choose rather not to even know them if i were to given a chance to go back to past life?
aiya dont listen to all these bull shit la,
time wont turn back,
complain complain enough, dont need to take it so seriously of wat i say.



sometime i see couple dating so happily
i alws think of u
not because i wan to date wit u or etc etc
is to hate you more only.
i've already let u go long ago dont worry.
no idea why everytime i saw u i feel like slapping you
that day i have no intention to see u,
in fact i was trying to avoid you,
but i duno why they wanna use tat way to go back to carpark.
and so happen we bumped into u -.-
yes i am still angry wit something.
your simple "hi" i treat it like,
thousand hated feeling stabbing right into my heart =)

omigosh look i am smiling,
=) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =)

ppl tried to ask me to cry,
so that i can feel better,
but i promised myself long ago not to cry for ppl
especially boys,
i must be strong,
i have gone thru so many things,
why i canot get over my problems now leh?
can one. need time nia.
how can i cry when i am so numb to even cry?
i can feel the emptiness in my heart,
my heart is like got poke by so many needles.
canot be mend anymore
because i dont want to mend it anymore.

problems at home make me even more angry
i dont understand why mom allows me to go where where
then you always like, complain say i go out alot,
one week forever go out ._.
u say now is not the time for me to enjoy my life.
i canot have simple entertainment?
dont expect me to stay at home 24/7 at home.
alws scold me for going out much,
going out late -.-
i need freedom u knw.
i am not young, next yr 21 already,
PLS.
treat me as a grown, im tired to be a small little girl at home,
stay at home alws hear ppl yelling here n there.
ESPECIALLY SOMEONE LA.
NEVER CONTRIBUT ANYTHING WAN KP HERE THERE
U BRING MONEY TO HOME LA
COMPLAIN HERE COMPLAIN THERE
U NO BRAIN ONE IS IT.
SOMETIMES I JUST CANOT STAND YOUR FKING BOSSY ATTITUDE
U WAN SHOW ME ATTITUDE?
DONT MAKE ME YELL AT YOU
DONT EVER FORGET I YELLED AT YOU FEW TIMES.
YOU SIT THERE DIAM DIAM ONLY.
DONT THINK U R ELDER AND I HAVE TO RESPECT YOU
YOU DONT EVEN EARN MY SIMPLE RESPECT AS A BROTHER
WHACKING HER AND SLAPPING HER IS WHAT A BRO SHOULD DO TO THE ELDER PERSON?
YEA LA SHE IS ANNOYING BUT WHO ARE YOU TO SLAP HER?
SHE IS FREAKING SO MUCH OLDER THAN YOU
HELLO, I TOT U LEARN THOSE BUDDHIST THING ONE?
CAN SLAP HER IS IT?
CAN BURN DOWN THE PAMELO TREE TO KILL ANTS?
I DIAM ONLY I SEE YOU SLAP HER
ONE DAY YOU SEE LA, I SHOUT BACK THEN U KNW.
MOM NOTICE I VERY DULAN SEE YOU SLAP N SHOUT AT HER.
I RATHER BE LOSING U AS A BRO
WALAO I RELI CNOT TAHAN YOU ALREADY
YOU SCOLD ME NO BRAIN U GOT BRAIN?
COME ON, WHO NO BRAIN?
MY MAGAZINE IS NEW MAGAZINE.
YOU GOT CONTAINER TO THROW THE EATOVER KUACHI
U DUNO HOW TO THROW THE FINISH KUACHI TO THE NEWSPAPER N PUT THE CLEAN ONE IN CONTAINER?
WHO NO BRAIN? SCOLD ME NO BRAIN.
SAY I VERY JI JIAO.(CALCULATIVE ; BERKIRA)
SAY NEWSPAPER VRY DIRTY HOW TO EAT.
U BODOH AH, DUNO HOW TO PUT IN CONTAINER?
I AM HAPPY TO ANSWER U "SO".
WHAT ELSE YOU KNW?
BETTER IF U CAN READ THIS.
I HECK CARE.


I FKING WAN TO PUT THIS BLOG AS PRIVATE,
OK OR NOT PPL?
AND I WANNA FKING LOCK MY PC

ok no comment on this post,
don ask me any ques regarding this post.



ok im feeling more better =)

lets welcome the new me one day;

2009 here i await ,
as a better person



PS: PIK SAN, if u happen to read this today, aka monday,
dont forget to go night market to buy the seaweed popia =)
dont say i nvr reminded you =)

Labels: complain complain complain